10 things you need to know before having first-time sex

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We've all been taught about how sex is always a hush-hush topic and should be kept private. However, in today's world, individuals are raising more awareness about sex and creating safe spaces for people to share their perspectives and experiences.

To start off, you may be worried and anxious about your first time - first and foremost, this is completely normal; you are not alone in feeling this way. And also, there is no right or wrong way to have sex for the first time, However, here are a few things that you need to know before having first-time sex, so here goes.

1- Erase what movies and TV shows have taught you

Teen movies and TV shows have created a strong influence and exaggerated expectations about sex, and have completely fantasized about 'first-time sex.' A big no. Sex does not happen like that in real life. The first time you have sex can be intimidating, awkward, and unpleasant. Don't get me wrong, it may also be all fun and sexy, but don't base your first experience on movies or television shows.

2- Virginity is a social construct. Sex doesn’t change you

You are the same person before and after your first sex experience; you will not 'transform' as a person. We're always taught that sex will change us and cause us to "lose our purity." But keep in mind that virginity is a societal construct! Have sex when you're ready; what you do with your vagina is none of other people’s business.

3- Follow the 3 C’s – Communication, Consent and Condoms

Communication is essential. It's not a cliché. You must talk with your partner about your wants, needs, and desires. The last thing you need is to be concerned about STIs and pregnancy. Sexual consent occurs when you and your partner both agree to have sex or engage in sexual activity. It means you and your partner give each other a crystal clear ‘yes’ to the activity. But remember, no means no. Even the absence of a ‘no’ is still a no. Plus, you can always change your mind; you can stop whenever you want to. Finally, contraception is required! Condoms are the most common and widely available form. It is an efficient method of birth control and also helps to prevent sexually transmitted diseases [STIs] such as HIV.

4- Foreplay is a must I cannot emphasize how important foreplay is. It is defined as any sexual activity prior to having sex. However, it does not always have to end in sex. Call it a warm-up session; incorporate kissing, cuddling, touching, massaging, talking dirty, jamming to some tunes, or anything else that might arouse you and your partner. It's a crucial part of sex because it causes your heart to pound, increases blood flow to your genitals, and helps lubricate the vagina.

5- Humor is always appreciated in bed Making a brief, light-hearted joke is an excellent technique to alleviate uneasiness or embarrassment with your spouse. It creates a more non-judgmental space, increases comfort, and adds to the playfulness between the two.

6- Use lube Probably the most significant. When it comes to sex; the wetter, the better. Lubricants aid in the reduction of unwanted friction. It can be used for penetrative intercourse, anal sex, and masturbation. It also supports safer sexual practices. Water-based lubricants are the preferred lubricants since they are usually affordable, easily washable, and work well with condoms.

7- Unlearn the narrative around sex Sex is still a topic of conversation that is conveniently avoided. As a result, encouraging oneself to learn, unlearn, and relearn about it over time is vital.

8- Sex has nothing to do with the hymen The whole ‘cherry popping’ thing we get around when we talk about sex has been wrongly linked to an individual’s virginity. It is indeed true, that you may bleed or you may not when you have sex for the first time; either is normal. And, virginity is a social construct. Having sex changes nothing about you; it doesn't add or take away value, just as not having sex doesn't.

9- Literally stop whenever you want to The rule out here is consent. Sex is inherently vulnerable. If you feel unsafe, pressured, uncomfortable or if you just changed your mind in general, you have all the right to stop and say no. Be upfront and honest with yourself about your sexual boundaries and health.

10- Don’t fake it, just because you “feel bad” Whatever you do, don't fake your orgasms. When it comes to attaining an orgasm, you may be compelled to fake it so that your partner does not feel forced to orgasm because that is how sex traditionally "ends." This can also lead to feeling disconnected with your partner, feeling like he/she can’t trust you and you could even have a harder time in achieving a real one.

That would be all there is to it! I hope you learned something new today and has put you at ease about your first time.